Powder And Paint...

...Make a Girl What She Ain't.

But it's fun still, right? So, many of you know I have a little side-business as a freelance makeup artist. I've picked it back up in the last 3 years and I've been pretty busy in the summer months. I decided to start highlighting certain products that I really dig (or some that I just don't understand at all).

Here is the first one and it's called Neutrogena Moisture Shine Tinted Lip Balm. I really need something on my lips at all times, or I get comments like:

-Are you feeling alright?

-Have you tried B12? I hear it helps with energy.

-You look tired.

Etc, etc. So I like this product because it's NOT lipstick. It's not sticky and it's not deep in color. It's a nice light lip balm that happens to have a kiss of color. I really like 'Fresh' as a shade when I want something pinky, and 'Clean' when I want something that is more bronzy, without being brown.

I also like them because they are really moisturizing and they have an SPF of 20. I actually ran out of mine in Florida last week and actually burned my lips. I'm sensitive, you know.

So check them out, and they are pretty well-priced at about $7.00 per tube.

And lastly, I have used mine almost daily since I bought in August 2006 and it JUST ran out. Bang for yer buck.

another update, appreciated by all in my house.

My gas is gone.


Just sayin.

Update 1

Feeling better than I would have imagined.

Not hungry. For real. Sometimes I hear people talk about their brand new diet and it's clear that they are in the 'honeymoon phase' where they feel full and wonderful and don't want ANY frosting out of their fridge. And I'm always annoyed by them. Annoyed that they're so naive and kind of deliciously waiting for them to get bored and pissy and just eat the damn frosting already.

That's not nice of me.

But I'm there right now, dammit! I feel good. We went out for two for one pizzas last night and my turkey tip salad suited me just fine, thankyouverymuch.

So. As for now, day 4, we're good.

DeTizOx

We just returned from a ridiculously good time in Florida (or, as my little peanut says...'Flo-di-da') spent with my father, mother and stepfather. They don't live together, just to clarify ;-). Time on the beach, time by the pool, and of course some of the best times, around the kitchen table. What is it about the kitchen table? It seems to bring out the best stories in everyone, or at least the best exaggerated tales. Breaking bread and yukking it up, two of my favorite things to do.

We had amazing meals: ribs, wings, a cornucopia of naughty bites at a SuperBowl Party including mozzarella sticks and a triple threat dessert made of marshmallow, fudge and brownie. We were treated to Mom's homecooking including chicken and veggies, brown rice and Dairy Queen. And of course my hubby and I snuck away for a night where we got to know Mr. Corona and nachos. And a burger. And the Waffle House. Oh and an ice cream cone and a margarita (not a good combo, fyi).

So, it's time. Time to detox. Purge. Cleanse. Remove. Eliminate. You get it. And it's not a calorie slash so please don't email me about making sure I get enough nutrients. It's just the cutting of the crap. The cuttage. And it's funny, because if you think about it, there really is a LOT of crap to cut. I thought that my diet was really healthy, and for the most part, it is (with the exception of the above paragraph, you know). But sometimes, you get a little loose, a little lazy, a little careless. So I'm on day two of the purge. It's actually from Health magazine and it's balanced eating without any processed food, dairy, soy or grains. There are proteins, vegetables and fruits at every meal, and snacks of nuts/seeds/nut butters and fruit.

Here's how it's going:

-One day one, I had a f$#%^ headache that didn't end. It really didn't end until today (day 2).

-I was surprised that I am not hungry at all. In fact, it's kind of hard to keep up with the snacks.

-The nuts and seeds are very satisfying and keep me fuller, longer.

-I'm not sure if the above is true or if I'm just going crazy because of the lack of chocolate.

I'll keep you posted on my progress. If I find myself face-first in the BJ's bag of chocolate chips by the end of the week, you'll know I'm officially off the wagon.

fine

It happened last Monday.

I woke up, and I was fine.

Pardon the drama, but I haven't been myself since my uterus went on a Magical Mystery Tour in May of 2005. It took a detour with a second beautiful baby, and between nursing hormones, back pain and a complete life and career adjustment, it seems to be settled back nicely in the two-car garage next to the badminton set and the beach chairs. Fine.

For some of you who read this, you could be nodding your head. Or maybe even more spiritedly saying, 'Girl....mmmm.' Who knows. Some of you don't know what I'm talking about yet, and either you will in the (very) near future, or you won't. But I know what I know and I am starting to see clearly now. I feel like a hothouse flower opening up after a really long drought and thank goodness. I was starting to be....not fine.

Years, literally, of not sleeping had started to take it's toll. I was in auto-pilot and although appreciative of my blessings (trite, but whatever!), I was in a fog. Half-mast, 50%, walking through the sludge of the day. Needing caffeine. Needing chocolate. Needing sleep. Needing that 10 minutes of pelting hot water in the shower with no interruptions and no one asking me where a bottle was. If I didn't get those basic needs met, I was on the verge of tears. Verge of a fight. Verge of yelling at my 23 month old because clearly she didn't appreciate that her spoon with peanut butter remnants CANNOT be near her sister. Didn't she understand that?

SO. I woke up with the babies. I wasn't mad about not getting 10 (friggin'!) minutes to myself. I was okay with the morning poopy diapers and the big one screaming so much that the little one started to bawl. It was no big deal that I was going potty with an audience. Formula bottle dripping...whatever! It was all good. All okay.

I celebrated my newfound fine-ness (holler!) with a delicious meal that I actually PLANNED before 4:55pm when I usually hear my husband's train whistle and think, 'Oh shit! Is anything thawed out?'. It was a broccoli salad, by the way, with roasted herbed potato-fries and a vegetable-bacon frittata. It wasn't haute-cuisine, but it was good. Really fine, actually.

Tagged....Scattegories

SCATTERGORIES
Its harder than it looks! Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following... they have to be real places, names, things...nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

What is your name ~ Jennifer
4 Letter Word ~ Jump
Vehicle ~ Jeep (my first car)
Boy Name ~ Jack
Girl Name ~ Jillian
Occupation ~ Jester
What you wear ~ Jodphurs
Celebrity ~ JLO
Food ~ Jello
Something found in a bathroom ~ Jean Nate (not really, but what else do I have?)
Reason for Being Late ~ Just couldn't get it together
Character ~Jasmin (isn't that Disney? Not there yet, kids are too young)
Something you Shout ~ Just a second!
Animal ~ Jaguar
Body part ~ jugular (thank you Kel and Mom, in that order ;-)
Word to describe you ~ jovial

Oh.

Katie. Katie Katie Katie. It's funny I guess, what happens to someone when they marry Tom Cruise. And become a Scientologist. And hang with Posh Spice. And have a baby and get married (which apparently is the new trend with celebrities). So much has changed for our little Joey from Dawson's Creek.

And I even have to ask myself, 'Why does this even matter to you?'. I will admit that I frequent Perez and Tmz. I do, I do. I know, it's brainless fodder. But it doesn't keep me up at night the way CNN does.

But suddenly, Katie Holmes has become the most boring person on earth. Have you seen the footage of her lately? It's really hard to watch. Here, take a peek of her on Letterman. Or, even drier than that, her Good Morning America interview. One big, frigging yawn. It begs the question....what happened to her?

So many will jump on the brainwash/Tom/Scientology bandwagon and I get that, to a degree. And although we have very little in common (her kind of broke and my kind of broke ain't the same, youknowwhatI'msayin?), I have secretly been afraid of the same kind of thing happening.

Becoming uninteresting.

It's scary just writing it. Can you imagine? Can you imagine going on Letterman and saying virtually, nothing? Although it would be a novelty for someone like you or I, I can imagine going into a scenario like that with my funniest material. My best stuff. You wanna talk about kids? I'm going to tell you about how my little one gets happy feet after she (as my husband puts it) drops a deuce. I'm going to talk about how, mid-cereal crunching, my toddler says, 'I eat a cereeeyo. I eat a cereeyo a milk. Boys a peeeeni. Girls a a giiiina.' Yes, I would toss them under the bus for a laugh with David Letterman. I would laugh about my husband calling his hairy back the 'Wings of Man'. I would talk about stretch marks and suddenly flat boobies after nursing. You know I would. I would go there, in a second. Why? Because I'm a whore for laughs first of all, but because I have INTERESTING things to say. What would you say?

I don't think you would say what Katie said. I don't think you'd need a paramedic after the interview to check for a pulse. I don't think you'd walk out after that sit-down with Diane Sawyer and be pleased about it. You'd be pissed at yourself for being so GD lukewarm. Tepid.

So, has she lost herself? I don't know. I really don't care, actually. It just made me think of my own life. My own stories. I had an ex once who complained about a new woman in his life. He said something remarkably cruel about her.

'She's not even interesting.'


Ouch. Now, I wasn't a perfect partner. But I sure as hell kept things interesting. Not a boring moment that I can recall. So, maybe KH is just going through it. Maybe she's tired of being under a microscope and having constant scrutiny over her life, her marriage, her child....maybe she cringes at the thought of some broad like me thinking I have the right to write about her. Maybe she's just so confident in her life that she doesn't CARE anymore. She's good. She's happy. She's hit that point in her life where everyone else's opinions simply don't even register with her.

Maybe.