In one of those moments when I'm just not thinking straight, I decide this morning to take my two little slices of pie shopping with me. Not shopping for them, shopping for me. It's funny now just writing it, what in the same hill was I thinking? I wasn't, clearly, but it makes for good fodder now.
Mistakes, not necessarily in chronological order:
1) not feeding kids twice what they normally eat to potentially ward off need (and subsequent asking and re-asking and re-asking) for snacks while doing said shopping.
2) not drinking more coffee and/or using recreational drugs to make shopping trip less chaotic.
3) forgetting about wanting to lose the last of the baby weight BEFORE I went shopping for bathing suits. In ridiculously flourescent frigging lighting. For ridiculously expensive swimwear.
4) bending down in abovementioned dressing room to pick up snacks for children on floor....
5) being 99.7% naked while doing so
6) giving baby girl a bottle to drink when she was clearly in a mood to throw shit
7) remembering, as I considered purchasing not ONE but TWO swimsuits that $117.00 plus $117.00 equals a bag full of crazy.
8) not giving children laxative products so that poops would happen BEFORE we left the house. Or, just not while doing shopping. In expensivey-boutiquey place. Think Pretty Woman scene with those bitchy salespeople.
9) They were very nice salespeople I was just trying to make a point.
2 comments:
I was thinking how nice it was not to have those problems anymore. And then you got to the mirror and, well . . . I have that friggin' problem.
The only thing better would be me and a screachy 2 month old tagging along. You can laugh at the situation, but I'm at the stage where I cry!
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