Oh.

Katie. Katie Katie Katie. It's funny I guess, what happens to someone when they marry Tom Cruise. And become a Scientologist. And hang with Posh Spice. And have a baby and get married (which apparently is the new trend with celebrities). So much has changed for our little Joey from Dawson's Creek.

And I even have to ask myself, 'Why does this even matter to you?'. I will admit that I frequent Perez and Tmz. I do, I do. I know, it's brainless fodder. But it doesn't keep me up at night the way CNN does.

But suddenly, Katie Holmes has become the most boring person on earth. Have you seen the footage of her lately? It's really hard to watch. Here, take a peek of her on Letterman. Or, even drier than that, her Good Morning America interview. One big, frigging yawn. It begs the question....what happened to her?

So many will jump on the brainwash/Tom/Scientology bandwagon and I get that, to a degree. And although we have very little in common (her kind of broke and my kind of broke ain't the same, youknowwhatI'msayin?), I have secretly been afraid of the same kind of thing happening.

Becoming uninteresting.

It's scary just writing it. Can you imagine? Can you imagine going on Letterman and saying virtually, nothing? Although it would be a novelty for someone like you or I, I can imagine going into a scenario like that with my funniest material. My best stuff. You wanna talk about kids? I'm going to tell you about how my little one gets happy feet after she (as my husband puts it) drops a deuce. I'm going to talk about how, mid-cereal crunching, my toddler says, 'I eat a cereeeyo. I eat a cereeyo a milk. Boys a peeeeni. Girls a a giiiina.' Yes, I would toss them under the bus for a laugh with David Letterman. I would laugh about my husband calling his hairy back the 'Wings of Man'. I would talk about stretch marks and suddenly flat boobies after nursing. You know I would. I would go there, in a second. Why? Because I'm a whore for laughs first of all, but because I have INTERESTING things to say. What would you say?

I don't think you would say what Katie said. I don't think you'd need a paramedic after the interview to check for a pulse. I don't think you'd walk out after that sit-down with Diane Sawyer and be pleased about it. You'd be pissed at yourself for being so GD lukewarm. Tepid.

So, has she lost herself? I don't know. I really don't care, actually. It just made me think of my own life. My own stories. I had an ex once who complained about a new woman in his life. He said something remarkably cruel about her.

'She's not even interesting.'


Ouch. Now, I wasn't a perfect partner. But I sure as hell kept things interesting. Not a boring moment that I can recall. So, maybe KH is just going through it. Maybe she's tired of being under a microscope and having constant scrutiny over her life, her marriage, her child....maybe she cringes at the thought of some broad like me thinking I have the right to write about her. Maybe she's just so confident in her life that she doesn't CARE anymore. She's good. She's happy. She's hit that point in her life where everyone else's opinions simply don't even register with her.

Maybe.