Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Blink


It's my daughter's second birthday today. Two tiny, whole, long and unbelievably fast years. Two years of late nights and early mornings and worries in my heart and head that I never thought I'd experience. My two happiest years, hands-down. The most abundantly full years of my life, overflowing with raw emotion and joy that only her birth has brought me.

I check on my babies every night, just because. I like to watch them sleep and hear them exhale with that soft little moan that only babies do. Last night I went in and the birthday-girl to-be woke up, sat up immediately. When this happens, she always says 'Tuckener-in', which loosely translated means, 'please lay me down on my pillow, give me my binky, tuck my blanket in and THEN you can leave'.

But she said something different last night, for the first time. She said, 'rocka-baby', which she has said on occasion, but never when I've gone in to check on them.

So I did. I picked her up, my little-big girl, and I rocked her like a baby. She turned toward me and fell asleep right away. And her face was just as sweet as it was two years ago, when I met her for the first time and felt a lump in my heart that hasn't gone away since.

I cried then, too....like I did when she was born. And I whispered in her ear, in vain:

"Please, not so fast...."

4 comments:

Jenine said...

You brought tears to my eyes, they are so amazing! You are blessed and so is she for having an amazing mommy like you!

Erin said...

9Reminds me of the book Love You Forever. It makes me cry every time. Addison was cleaning out his bookshelf and held it up and I said, "You have to keep that book forever."
He's going to be 9 in June, and is just a couple inches shorter than me. That makes me sad, not only that I'm short, but pretty soon my baby will be bigger than me.
Embrace each day, it really does go by too fast.

tcakmtj said...

You sum up motherhood so beautifully! I cried while reading it as well. Then I picked up my screaming almost 2 year old, held him closely to me and sighed deeply as I heard his breathing allow sleep to take over. Naps, got to love them!

Ruth L.~ said...

Awww, Jen, this is beautiful!

And two? So soon? Cherish it. I know you do.